White Privileged Men First Please

At this time, we'd like to welcome those passengers who are male, white, middle to upper class, straight, able-bodied, traveling alone or with a business partner, slim or average weight, less then 65 years old to be seated. Next, we would like to invite any woman who meets this description. If you are traveling with young children, with a physical or mental disability, are a refugee or new immigrant, uncomfortably over weight, identify as LGBTQ or look just LGBTQ, or if we can't figure out your gender by looking at you, please board the plane last. And if you are wearing any kind of religious headdress, please return to the ticket counter. Thank you and have a good flight.