Who holds the door open

My Ambivalence

He supports Women's Lib.
He's quick to point out they are underpaid.
It's not who holds the door open;
The real issue, he says,
Is money and power.
I agree: form doesn't matter.
Sure, it's money and power.

When we leave he insists
     On getting my coat from the hat check,
     On his taking my stub to the parking attendant,
     On my waiting in the warm lobby.
I wait and gnaw on my ambivalence:
     He's polite, why should that bother me?
     Why doesn't this feel right?
     I struggle to know.

When we play out our accustomed roles,
We can't see how the parts make up the whole,
How being put in the warm lobby also
Puts "No Admittance" on the boardroom door.

First I feel, then, slowly, I know:
What really matters
Is Money and Power and Who holds the door open.


Estelle Padawer
At Our Core: Women writing about power - Sandra Haldman Martz